BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: Breaking up to Make up!

   Dr Bonnie Eaker Weil explains what I will call "Breaking up is a good way to re-negotiate and re-seduce your partner!" in her book entitled "Make Up, Don't Break Up", which depicts Dr Bonnie's journey from early childhood through to how she's survived being a family and marriage therapist, and a period of 20 years being single between her first and second marriage - she finally worked it out for her patients. 

The premise of the book discusses her wisdom acquired through hard work and heart ache.  After reading her book and interviewing her I now consider this lesson to be one of the most important tools in love and life.  Make Up, Don't Break Up teaches us vital and necessary skills to sail through love’s struggles. She explains that we all go through separation anxiety and the process of reconnection.  She has decades of experience behind her and shares with simplicity, in a way that I finally got .. one thing to master in life is love and in any love relationship - one thing is for sure and can’t be avoided, and that’s fighting.  We all do it at some stage and in her interview she teaches us how to fight fairly.

I've read a lot of books and none explain so clearly as Dr Bonnie does - the "dance" between a male and female, that is the pursuer and distancer, and that falling in love happens while we're away from the relationship. In other words, distance makes the heart grow fonder. Hence breaking up is a sure-fire method of re-seduction and you could almost say is necessary.

I've found her work to be a life changing experience and her latest 2nd edition comes with an added video guide to her specialised tools.  I personally could relate to her struggles of being hurt and overcoming infidelity. She cleverly made me realize that under all of that - there is love!

Love is work and can be challenging, especially in today's society with people taking a lot longer to find love. Her work helps us avoid the path less travelled. She's done all the work for us and I feel it’s classic in its inspiration to anyone looking to fall in love. Everyone should acquire her tools.

I'm happy to say that if more people read this book we would have so many more successful relationships and a better world.

It doesn't amaze me anymore that I'm 33 and single. My education didn't include teaching me any skills to navigate my own heart and love is the only thing which is real. Understanding that breaking up to make up is a sure way to avoiding hurt, which can lead to health issues and problems. You want love? .. as she so kindly puts it .. "I did it, and so can you."

Her book explains what a life of experience can teach us.  This is definitely a classic, which I believe goes beyond the philosopher Eric Fromm’s book, and teaches us how to cope with getting to true love.

She's so worth listening to - I interviewed Dr Bonnie Eaker Weil on her book and her personal love story and on developing tools to navigate love by dissolving rules that society imposes on us.  Her book has helped me, and I'm so grateful I'd like to offer a FREE pre-release special to my fans.  If you'd like to watch her interview, please EMAIL your request to:

       ASK BLAZE? at: loveunraveled@gmail.com

BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: Breaking up is hard to do!

"It's not working" .. not what I was expecting to hear on my Birthday, so you can imagine the pain.

Suddenly, there was no trace of him. He was gone like the wind. Only the bad memories and reasons he gave me for leaving plagued my mind. I felt physically ill. I blamed myself and felt like there was something wrong with me, couldn't sleep, couldn't breathe, had headaches. I questioned why, didn't get out of bed for days and I cried non-stop. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to die. My relationship was over.

When we met, I understood what people where talking about when they said "you just know". For the first time I'd really felt that way, except in this case it hasn't had the fairytale ending I had hoped for. I had told him I wasn't ready but he had persisted and won me over. We grew really close, and in fact this was the first time I had become this close with anyone, and now to not have him around was a never ending painful panic attack after panic attack. It felt like salt rubbed into the wound kinda pain! I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just knew I wasn't okay and I couldn't get through this. I didn't know how, as I was in complete denial, but I was hoping he would come back. So I picked up the phone - only to lose control and get angry with him for abandoning me while I was sick, and for the audacity of doing it on my birthday. I had no one without him and I dreaded feeling lonely again. He was my best friend whom I trusted. I felt so disappointed and betrayed. He was the man that I'd waited for all my life. He was the reason I had worked on myself and he was the one that didn't want to come back.

And then, almost as if from one moment to the next it dawned on me - There was no point in wallowing in the depths of despair! Time was not going to heal because I wasn't going to let time dictate my destiny. It was time to grow up and face the truth of what really had happened .. to take control of my emotions once and for all.

Now, I'm only grateful to have met Mr Out of this World Amazing! Thank you for coming into my life to show me love. You have shown me that I am exactly where I want to be.

I'm excited about the future and I now feel ready!

Thanks for reading!

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