BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: THE GREATEST LOVE AFFAIR.

In the past I’ve put others first, and at worst, even idolised men. That got me nowhere, and I was often in a state of grief and pain and had panic attack after panic attack. I decided to take a good hard look at where I was and where I wanted to be. I had to be honest about why I wasn't there yet, which helped me see how I could get there .. now I am on my way.

What held me back was social anxiety and struggle in my career, and allowing myself to be drained by problems that belonged to others. It was like being on the roundabout from hell and each time it got uncomfortable, which was most of the time, I kept reaching for a cigarette.

The friends I thought where nice were not all they seemed. They where totally self-absorbed and that was the looking glass that made me realise that if I really loved myself, which I wanted more than anything, I needed to be happy with me inside and out!

I've gone through this process with beauty, but how was I going to get happy when I didn't have anything I wanted in my life? I didn't have the relationship I wanted, in fact didn’t have anything I wanted for the past few years - a sacrifice I had made for my career. So was it even possible, given my career was still not really established?

I was grateful that I suddenly felt I wanted and deserved to be in “first class”. After all, it’s my own life we're talking about here. There are limited seats in first class. I was trying to fit in everyone - most of whom cared very little about me.

I got clarity on who deserved to be in my life. I am really very blessed and grateful for those people. I didn't feel lonely and half scared to death any more. The fighting had come to an end, finally. I didn't want hedonistic people in my life anymore .. those who were clearly just about themselves. First class was far more comfortable with only a few close friends who all genuinely cared about each other. Also, when you're in first class you can still wander to business class and economy. So when I let go, I actually didn't miss out on anything. Life just became more exciting and more peaceful and a lot more enjoyable. I got to see that at least one person was in love with me .. me.

Love starts with treating myself only with the very best. So, I was not going to harm my body with toxins of any kind. I gave up the feelings of stress and anxiety for making myself feel happy. I've now quit smoking and drinking, and I've quit allowing people to make me their personal assistant and social co-ordinator and am now in control of my own emotions. I quit thinking about men, period. I started really appreciating good men (because they're rare). I quit taking calls from the hedonistic people who I had no business being around. Instead, I started working out and giving to myself. I now have time to do the things which I enjoy, be it expressing myself in this blog, lunching with friends or helping those in need.

Now, I've given myself permission to be honest, not only with myself but with everybody around me. It is my world, and as the designer of my architectural masterpiece, I had every right to design my blueprint however I'd like.

Since, I've started the greatest love affair of all time .. I now know I am truly worthy of having the greatest love story ever.

Check in with me daily I will be offering some my personal insight on love.

In the meantime, check out my Love Unraveled Trailer at: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0UeyuKNh-U)

Until next time remember that Love is the Key.

Love

Jacquie Blaze

CONTACT : loveunraveled@gmail.com