BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: Breaking up to Make up!

   Dr Bonnie Eaker Weil explains what I will call "Breaking up is a good way to re-negotiate and re-seduce your partner!" in her book entitled "Make Up, Don't Break Up", which depicts Dr Bonnie's journey from early childhood through to how she's survived being a family and marriage therapist, and a period of 20 years being single between her first and second marriage - she finally worked it out for her patients. 

The premise of the book discusses her wisdom acquired through hard work and heart ache.  After reading her book and interviewing her I now consider this lesson to be one of the most important tools in love and life.  Make Up, Don't Break Up teaches us vital and necessary skills to sail through love’s struggles. She explains that we all go through separation anxiety and the process of reconnection.  She has decades of experience behind her and shares with simplicity, in a way that I finally got .. one thing to master in life is love and in any love relationship - one thing is for sure and can’t be avoided, and that’s fighting.  We all do it at some stage and in her interview she teaches us how to fight fairly.

I've read a lot of books and none explain so clearly as Dr Bonnie does - the "dance" between a male and female, that is the pursuer and distancer, and that falling in love happens while we're away from the relationship. In other words, distance makes the heart grow fonder. Hence breaking up is a sure-fire method of re-seduction and you could almost say is necessary.

I've found her work to be a life changing experience and her latest 2nd edition comes with an added video guide to her specialised tools.  I personally could relate to her struggles of being hurt and overcoming infidelity. She cleverly made me realize that under all of that - there is love!

Love is work and can be challenging, especially in today's society with people taking a lot longer to find love. Her work helps us avoid the path less travelled. She's done all the work for us and I feel it’s classic in its inspiration to anyone looking to fall in love. Everyone should acquire her tools.

I'm happy to say that if more people read this book we would have so many more successful relationships and a better world.

It doesn't amaze me anymore that I'm 33 and single. My education didn't include teaching me any skills to navigate my own heart and love is the only thing which is real. Understanding that breaking up to make up is a sure way to avoiding hurt, which can lead to health issues and problems. You want love? .. as she so kindly puts it .. "I did it, and so can you."

Her book explains what a life of experience can teach us.  This is definitely a classic, which I believe goes beyond the philosopher Eric Fromm’s book, and teaches us how to cope with getting to true love.

She's so worth listening to - I interviewed Dr Bonnie Eaker Weil on her book and her personal love story and on developing tools to navigate love by dissolving rules that society imposes on us.  Her book has helped me, and I'm so grateful I'd like to offer a FREE pre-release special to my fans.  If you'd like to watch her interview, please EMAIL your request to:

       ASK BLAZE? at: loveunraveled@gmail.com

BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: Breaking up is hard to do!

"It's not working" .. not what I was expecting to hear on my Birthday, so you can imagine the pain.

Suddenly, there was no trace of him. He was gone like the wind. Only the bad memories and reasons he gave me for leaving plagued my mind. I felt physically ill. I blamed myself and felt like there was something wrong with me, couldn't sleep, couldn't breathe, had headaches. I questioned why, didn't get out of bed for days and I cried non-stop. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to die. My relationship was over.

When we met, I understood what people where talking about when they said "you just know". For the first time I'd really felt that way, except in this case it hasn't had the fairytale ending I had hoped for. I had told him I wasn't ready but he had persisted and won me over. We grew really close, and in fact this was the first time I had become this close with anyone, and now to not have him around was a never ending painful panic attack after panic attack. It felt like salt rubbed into the wound kinda pain! I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just knew I wasn't okay and I couldn't get through this. I didn't know how, as I was in complete denial, but I was hoping he would come back. So I picked up the phone - only to lose control and get angry with him for abandoning me while I was sick, and for the audacity of doing it on my birthday. I had no one without him and I dreaded feeling lonely again. He was my best friend whom I trusted. I felt so disappointed and betrayed. He was the man that I'd waited for all my life. He was the reason I had worked on myself and he was the one that didn't want to come back.

And then, almost as if from one moment to the next it dawned on me - There was no point in wallowing in the depths of despair! Time was not going to heal because I wasn't going to let time dictate my destiny. It was time to grow up and face the truth of what really had happened .. to take control of my emotions once and for all.

Now, I'm only grateful to have met Mr Out of this World Amazing! Thank you for coming into my life to show me love. You have shown me that I am exactly where I want to be.

I'm excited about the future and I now feel ready!

Thanks for reading!

ASK BLAZE ?(by sending your questions and stories to loveunraveled@gmail.com)

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BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: Are you love ?

The deeper I look at my quest for love the more frustrated I get and that makes me feel I have more work to do on myself ! It's like a roundabout. That's the perfectionist coming out in me. I now realise that we're not perfect and even less perfect when we're in relationships. Anger, frustration and all things ugly come out. To find, respect and cherish love - be love. Here's a familiar poem we all must know, which helped me be the best me I can possibly be. Please read it completely out loud even if you already know it..

LOVE

Love is patient,

love is kind.

It does not envy,

it does not boast,

it is not proud.

It is not rude,

it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects,

always trusts,

always hopes,

always perseveres.

Love never fails.

NOW, please ask yourself- Are you love ?

(What's the answer?)

To have LOVE ..Be LOVE!

I hope this helps!

Until next time remember that Love is the Key.

Love

Jacquie Blaze

ANY QUESTION PLEASE CONTACT : loveunraveled@gmail.com

BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: The law of awakening.

Here are my 7 principals to the law of awakening:
1. Always put me as #1, because if I’m not happy, I’ve got nothing left to give.

2. The people who don't care – need to go their own way.

3. Those who care about me are precious and worth holding onto.

4. Selfish people are not for me.

5. I'm happiest when I'm in love!

6. It's okay to look at past mistakes, cause I won't be making those again.

7. Honesty is the best policy, particularly being honest with self, even if it hurts, as adjustment and change often hurt.

Hope you find the love that you seek!

Check in with me weekly I will be offering some my personal insight on happiness.

In the meantime, check out my Love Unraveled Trailer at:

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0UeyuKNh-U)

Until next time remember that "Love is the Key to all life situations..".

Love

Jacquie Blaze

FOR ADVICE CONTACT : loveunraveled@gmail.com

BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: FIGHTING DEMONS..PART II.

The culprit and Mrs Evil suffered from insecurity and I was not willing to have any part of that. Been there, done that. No thanks. They can deal with that one on their own.

What I've found from fighting my demons is that we all have them. Some more serious and more real than others, as I would find out. This is how I realized that..

At 12pm two nights ago I was driving home after dropping a friend off who was helping me with some work-related stuff. It was supposed to be a quick drop off and then to bed. I was so exhausted after little to no sleep. However, I noticed a young lady sitting at the bus stop looking very sad. The light was red and my car was stopped where I couldn't help but look. I don't like to stare, but the sight of her drew me in.

I noticed she was trying to hold back her tears but in the next moment she completely broke down.

Now, being pretty tired myself I probably should have turned the corner and pulled into my driveway but I instead opened my window to ask if she was okay, and a loud cry.."No"came back, followed by silence. I've had some experience dealing with distressed women, and have been one myself, so I was ready to take this on.

This woman was dealing with her demons and she was not in a rational state of mind. Frightened and confused and new to Los Angeles, she was unable to tell me what happened right away. I invited her to sit in my car in the hope that she would begin to calm down with some company and food, and then with the intention of finding her some assistance, which is what we did.

I found out that her demon was in the form of a cheating and physically abusive husband who did his number in front of her three year old, whom Mrs Devastated had been forced to walk away from, at midnight - without any money and with an irrational mind. She was also devastated by having lost her father two weeks prior.

This really put things in perspective for me. It made me realize how grateful I should be for having such a blessed life. We got acquainted, and by the time we walked out of Ralphs at 1.30 am, we had a plan to go to the police station for some advice.

Things didn’t get easier at the police station, but Mrs Devastated handled everything with such strength and love for herself and her child and even the husband, she ordered his arrest. What a tough decision to make, huh! She without question was able to do it because she reached the point where she was unwilling to put up with anymore. She knew that if she returned it would amount to more abuse. He was out of control. I was proud of her. By 4am when I left, everyone, including the officers, were laughing and in good spirits.

To stand up for yourself says a lot about how you value and love yourself and others. That to me is priceless. So next time someone bullies you or gossips about you - look the devil in the eye and confront the problem head on.

Mrs Devastated and I spoke the following day, and she was home and things had already turned around for the better. Things are looking up and I'm grateful for that.

Check in with me weekly I will be offering some my personal insight on love.

In the meantime, check out my Love Unraveled Trailer at:

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0UeyuKNh-U)

Until next time remember that "Love is the Key..".

Love

Jacquie Blaze

CONTACT : loveunraveled@gmail.com

BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: FIGHTING DEMONS.

I woke up to a strange girl sleeping on my sofa. I didn’t like strangers in my home but the friend who was staying with me didn’t seem to care who she brought into my home. That’s cause it wasn’t her home. Was she the culprit in all of this?
This was the morning Ms Evil was first introduced into my life.

It was the morning after the Playboy Mansion Halloween party, three years ago. I found out Ms Evil was sleeping with the man I love, and his namesake. How crazy! I was disgusted. I had my own reasons for feeling insecure and weak at that time so I just shut down and said nothing as I was signaled to shut up .. by the culprit standing behind a girl sitting before me, who was still a stranger. I was made to listen to a horrible story .. in my own home! I was then told I had no business telling the man I was in knee-deep with, what I had heard. Of course I did. He was someone I loved and cared about! Wouldn’t you want to know?

As a result of not listening to my own intuition, I didn’t say anything and communication dropped off. I got depressed, and took on a day job instead of working on my career. Then I started eating .. I felt miserable. I was beginning to open up to a work colleague, when Ms Evil moved in across the street and recruited him. I felt tormented and overwhelmed. I removed myself from the circle of people I was friendly with but she just kept re-appearing in each phase of my life.

Now, three years later standing across the bar, there she was, being inappropriate with my friend’s boyfriend .. a friend I love, who is stunning inside out. Suddenly the lid blew off and all my emotions where running free. I was not going to sit in the passenger seat of my life. I told my media friend who was standing by me, immediately. What was I going to do?

I was not okay. I went to the toilet and guess who walked in next to me? Ms Evil! To my surprise I turned and looked the devil in the eye! I calmly suggested to her to find a man who was single. She was shocked and ready to attack as I walked away. I had said all there was to say. I was done.

Looking back I should have confronted the situation immediately as it happened and nipped it in the bud, instead of second-guessing myself. When I owned it and got my power back I saw things for what they where the culprit was the negative force who brought the drama around for her own benefit. I was no longer angry or confused. Just relieved to regain control of my life. What doesn’t break us makes us stronger.

I’m done with idiot compassion and refuse to ever put up with non-sense.

PART II -to be continued..

Check in with me daily I will be offering some my personal insight on love.

In the meantime, check out my Love Unraveled Trailer at: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0UeyuKNh-U)

Until next time remember that Love is the Key.

Love

Jacquie Blaze

CONTACT : loveunraveled@gmail.com

BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: THE GREATEST LOVE AFFAIR.

In the past I’ve put others first, and at worst, even idolised men. That got me nowhere, and I was often in a state of grief and pain and had panic attack after panic attack. I decided to take a good hard look at where I was and where I wanted to be. I had to be honest about why I wasn't there yet, which helped me see how I could get there .. now I am on my way.

What held me back was social anxiety and struggle in my career, and allowing myself to be drained by problems that belonged to others. It was like being on the roundabout from hell and each time it got uncomfortable, which was most of the time, I kept reaching for a cigarette.

The friends I thought where nice were not all they seemed. They where totally self-absorbed and that was the looking glass that made me realise that if I really loved myself, which I wanted more than anything, I needed to be happy with me inside and out!

I've gone through this process with beauty, but how was I going to get happy when I didn't have anything I wanted in my life? I didn't have the relationship I wanted, in fact didn’t have anything I wanted for the past few years - a sacrifice I had made for my career. So was it even possible, given my career was still not really established?

I was grateful that I suddenly felt I wanted and deserved to be in “first class”. After all, it’s my own life we're talking about here. There are limited seats in first class. I was trying to fit in everyone - most of whom cared very little about me.

I got clarity on who deserved to be in my life. I am really very blessed and grateful for those people. I didn't feel lonely and half scared to death any more. The fighting had come to an end, finally. I didn't want hedonistic people in my life anymore .. those who were clearly just about themselves. First class was far more comfortable with only a few close friends who all genuinely cared about each other. Also, when you're in first class you can still wander to business class and economy. So when I let go, I actually didn't miss out on anything. Life just became more exciting and more peaceful and a lot more enjoyable. I got to see that at least one person was in love with me .. me.

Love starts with treating myself only with the very best. So, I was not going to harm my body with toxins of any kind. I gave up the feelings of stress and anxiety for making myself feel happy. I've now quit smoking and drinking, and I've quit allowing people to make me their personal assistant and social co-ordinator and am now in control of my own emotions. I quit thinking about men, period. I started really appreciating good men (because they're rare). I quit taking calls from the hedonistic people who I had no business being around. Instead, I started working out and giving to myself. I now have time to do the things which I enjoy, be it expressing myself in this blog, lunching with friends or helping those in need.

Now, I've given myself permission to be honest, not only with myself but with everybody around me. It is my world, and as the designer of my architectural masterpiece, I had every right to design my blueprint however I'd like.

Since, I've started the greatest love affair of all time .. I now know I am truly worthy of having the greatest love story ever.

Check in with me daily I will be offering some my personal insight on love.

In the meantime, check out my Love Unraveled Trailer at: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0UeyuKNh-U)

Until next time remember that Love is the Key.

Love

Jacquie Blaze

CONTACT : loveunraveled@gmail.com