Blaze Blogs: STOP! "Freaking Out"

I feel like I've been so busy freaking out that I've not been in a space of love. I've recently been through a lot and decided to go see my ex whom I considered "the love of my life" - while I was on a trip home to Australia. " Going Home" as Dr Bonnie terms, is vital to growing in a space of love and sometimes our ex's know us better then our family. We got to talk, laugh and get past "past patterns" to understand what's "really" going on. Well, I obviously was still not getting it because I started freaking out at the new man on the block and my mind, in a zillion horrible directions, couldn't quiet get it together until I freaked out. As women, we often call it hormones, alcohol, crazy men and blame it on everything other then taking responsibility and healing ourselves so that we can get to love.. Now here it was, the same pattern holding me back and this time I was going to send it packing. A helpful hint to all you ladies out there- Do NOT get mad or blame or shame men. I took one breath and thought don't get mad- I suddenly realized I was no longer going to shut down my own heart to make a man feel better when he was totally and utterly out of line with where he was coming from. It was okay to be emotional, after all love is about communicating and sharing vulnerabilities. I had done nothing wrong and didn't disrespect him. Some horrible texts poped up from his end and I was hurt but I now accept that my own " freaking out" was pressing him cause I needed to know how he felt, I needed a label, I needed needed needed.. I needed nothing I couldn't give myself and if he didn't want to see me - oh well that speaks volumes. A man who falls in love shows it, so that was utterly a waste of emotions flying about. We had a huge fight via text, to make matters worse. I finally now get it! I was pushing him away and I won't ever come from that place of being needy that screams of desperation. I remembered who I was in the process, which made me more confident. My lesson was not to act on my irrational self  and emotions but to excersise my control- after all the one thing I do have control over is myself. I've decided the best approach for a situation like this is "to bite your tongue" take a step back, talk to a rational friend about how to proceed- and be cool. Otherwise your just pushing him away. Thanks to my new friend and author of "Stop Looking for a Husband", Marina Sbrochi who prompted this blog. 

CHEATING-VILLE!

I've always imagined a website that exposed men who had no balls to be honest but instead turned to lying and cheating cause they where cowards. Finally a website to help them grow balls was here !

Here's an example I found on there which has got 65,000 hits in a week:

http://www.cheaterville.com/?page=cheaters&id=14401

So ladys if you know any cheaters, why not help your fellow lady's out there by publishing your story's, pics and info etc, so that if he decides to pull this on any other women she will find it when she googles his name.

For healthy advice on love please send your questions to:
jacquie.blaze@gmail.com
We'll have our experts help you!

You are what you eat! Now pay attention to what you eat.

Loving ourselves means looking after our bodies.  So when I woke up feeling hungover and noticed a cigarette packet by my bed I knew I had to make some changes. 

With this loving realisation I had towards my body and soul, that very moment I quit smoking.  I haven't craved a cigarette since, and it’s now been about 12 months.  I gave up smoking and drinking alcohol, and now am committed to looking after my health.  I’m especially careful about what I put into my body - we definitely are what we eat.

Here's a video I did today for an audition for a food and travel show I have had the opportunity to host.  It demonstrates one of my favourite recipes that is so easy to make and is super healthy and nutritious. 

          AUDITION TAPE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GNAwuNvYQM&feature=share
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GNAwuNvYQM&feature=share

For recipe details please email: jacquie.blaze@gmail.com

Blaze: The Greatest Love of All

Whitney Houston was a strong, uniquely talented, beautiful woman who attracted some tragic circumstances in her life.  For all of her success, strength of character and wealth, she wasn’t looking after herself.  She needed to put herself first, love herself more, as so many loved her.   It’s hard to imagine that she felt at times intensely lonely and was in such pain, which she expressed in the lyrics of her songs, but that was also what helped us identify with her and appreciate her passion and honesty.  She found the inner strength to generously pour out her heart and soul.  She gave so much of herself that she forgot to give to her self, which is where love starts.  Yes, she could have done things differently, however she did things the way that she did - that's destiny .. that was her path.  She is very much missed. 


Let this be a lesson to all those whom have ever struggled with any life situation- love is key.
This song says it all: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDlE72w&ob=av3n
Please take the time to watch my trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0UeyuKNh-U
Its helped me learn that the greatest love of all is easy to achieve- that learning to love myself is the greatest love if all!

MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE- MOVING ON!

Theres so much fun to be had during a break up. It was straight  to the hairdresser for me - for more blond and a sexy new cut! Then a pit stop for some super sexy lengire at Victorias Secret. After all, if we're going to be dating we have to feel good. You guys are not an exception. 

Shopping is always great therapy and a sure way to get excited about the endless possibilities and suddenly my borning life was consumed by the me I love- the vivacious , fun and sophisticated social light. Life is full of magic - especially here in Los Angeles. I was out of my deepths and flying.

Now it was going to be time as Robert Green calls it - to find the right victum! That excited me even more. Something great happens as a woman when you brake up- you're ready to play that game and win! It is all a game after all. I was just excited to be excited again. 

I was having more dates then I could find energy for! Goes to show that when one door closes another ten open. Dr John Demartini  so cleverly explains that love is all that there is and as soon as one person disappears there is someone else there-  so ask yourself who's there ? It was time to open up my eyes to appreciate the people who are there for me when in need and to let go of those who caused me grief. 

I've found a new friend in me. Someone I both cherish and respect. A feeling I wouldn't trade for any Bentley of Hermes bag no matter how much I love those. Even some old friends re-apeared all to remind me of where I was and wher I am. The pain wasn't all for nothing- it was just growing pains. So painful that I'd prefer to stay committed in my next relationship- God willing. 

I know, now what I want and will not be compromising - instead he better be able to fullfill most of my values. 

I am now back to being the fun, fierce and excited about turning heads girl I recognise. Being spoilt is always fun and if there is noone to spoil you-  give to yourself.  While a break up is hard to do - there is only one way to counteract the pain. Get out and get connected! Moving on can be fun. 

SO, Have Fun! Before too long that special someone will be right here. 

On a personal note- I know that before too long there will be that special someone in my life that sweeps me away completely-- so I am determined to enjoy this horrible phase as much as I can. It's time to get down and dirty and not only face but also enjoy these unpleasant emotions. To moving forward my new bff- onwards and upwards. Thank you. 

ASK BLAZE? loveunraveled@gmail.com

BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: Breaking up to Make up!

   Dr Bonnie Eaker Weil explains what I will call "Breaking up is a good way to re-negotiate and re-seduce your partner!" in her book entitled "Make Up, Don't Break Up", which depicts Dr Bonnie's journey from early childhood through to how she's survived being a family and marriage therapist, and a period of 20 years being single between her first and second marriage - she finally worked it out for her patients. 

The premise of the book discusses her wisdom acquired through hard work and heart ache.  After reading her book and interviewing her I now consider this lesson to be one of the most important tools in love and life.  Make Up, Don't Break Up teaches us vital and necessary skills to sail through love’s struggles. She explains that we all go through separation anxiety and the process of reconnection.  She has decades of experience behind her and shares with simplicity, in a way that I finally got .. one thing to master in life is love and in any love relationship - one thing is for sure and can’t be avoided, and that’s fighting.  We all do it at some stage and in her interview she teaches us how to fight fairly.

I've read a lot of books and none explain so clearly as Dr Bonnie does - the "dance" between a male and female, that is the pursuer and distancer, and that falling in love happens while we're away from the relationship. In other words, distance makes the heart grow fonder. Hence breaking up is a sure-fire method of re-seduction and you could almost say is necessary.

I've found her work to be a life changing experience and her latest 2nd edition comes with an added video guide to her specialised tools.  I personally could relate to her struggles of being hurt and overcoming infidelity. She cleverly made me realize that under all of that - there is love!

Love is work and can be challenging, especially in today's society with people taking a lot longer to find love. Her work helps us avoid the path less travelled. She's done all the work for us and I feel it’s classic in its inspiration to anyone looking to fall in love. Everyone should acquire her tools.

I'm happy to say that if more people read this book we would have so many more successful relationships and a better world.

It doesn't amaze me anymore that I'm 33 and single. My education didn't include teaching me any skills to navigate my own heart and love is the only thing which is real. Understanding that breaking up to make up is a sure way to avoiding hurt, which can lead to health issues and problems. You want love? .. as she so kindly puts it .. "I did it, and so can you."

Her book explains what a life of experience can teach us.  This is definitely a classic, which I believe goes beyond the philosopher Eric Fromm’s book, and teaches us how to cope with getting to true love.

She's so worth listening to - I interviewed Dr Bonnie Eaker Weil on her book and her personal love story and on developing tools to navigate love by dissolving rules that society imposes on us.  Her book has helped me, and I'm so grateful I'd like to offer a FREE pre-release special to my fans.  If you'd like to watch her interview, please EMAIL your request to:

       ASK BLAZE? at: loveunraveled@gmail.com

BLAZE BLOGS: MY CHRONICLE TO LOVE: Breaking up is hard to do!

"It's not working" .. not what I was expecting to hear on my Birthday, so you can imagine the pain.

Suddenly, there was no trace of him. He was gone like the wind. Only the bad memories and reasons he gave me for leaving plagued my mind. I felt physically ill. I blamed myself and felt like there was something wrong with me, couldn't sleep, couldn't breathe, had headaches. I questioned why, didn't get out of bed for days and I cried non-stop. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to die. My relationship was over.

When we met, I understood what people where talking about when they said "you just know". For the first time I'd really felt that way, except in this case it hasn't had the fairytale ending I had hoped for. I had told him I wasn't ready but he had persisted and won me over. We grew really close, and in fact this was the first time I had become this close with anyone, and now to not have him around was a never ending painful panic attack after panic attack. It felt like salt rubbed into the wound kinda pain! I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just knew I wasn't okay and I couldn't get through this. I didn't know how, as I was in complete denial, but I was hoping he would come back. So I picked up the phone - only to lose control and get angry with him for abandoning me while I was sick, and for the audacity of doing it on my birthday. I had no one without him and I dreaded feeling lonely again. He was my best friend whom I trusted. I felt so disappointed and betrayed. He was the man that I'd waited for all my life. He was the reason I had worked on myself and he was the one that didn't want to come back.

And then, almost as if from one moment to the next it dawned on me - There was no point in wallowing in the depths of despair! Time was not going to heal because I wasn't going to let time dictate my destiny. It was time to grow up and face the truth of what really had happened .. to take control of my emotions once and for all.

Now, I'm only grateful to have met Mr Out of this World Amazing! Thank you for coming into my life to show me love. You have shown me that I am exactly where I want to be.

I'm excited about the future and I now feel ready!

Thanks for reading!

ASK BLAZE ?(by sending your questions and stories to loveunraveled@gmail.com)

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